


Ma’am we are homosexuals

by grabmyboner



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Drabble, F/F, Gay Billy Hargrove, Gen, Gen Z humour, Homophobic Language, M/M, Pure Crack, Slurs, This is just crack, gays being gays!, i wrote this in comic sans pls take it as so, joan the waitress, just mentioned not used against anyone, kinda ooc but that’s ok who cares there’s no rules, very very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:15:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23715790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grabmyboner/pseuds/grabmyboner
Summary: “Oh, is this your boyfriend?” Joan the waitress asks, sliding the strawberry milkshake with two straws towards them.Robin awkwardly smiles and shakes her head no, grabbing at the glass. She focuses on the condensation dripping on the vinyl bench.Billy, on the other hand, doesn’t let it slide so easily.-This is crack. Just crack, and very short.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90





	Ma’am we are homosexuals

**Author's Note:**

> Heya, long time no see! Here‘s some crack. It’s probably ooc and that’s okay bc there are no rules. Hope you and your loved ones are all safe and well!!! 
> 
> Happy reading :)

“Oh, is this your boyfriend?” Joan the waitress asks, sliding the strawberry milkshake with two straws towards them.

Robin awkwardly smiles and shakes her head no, grabbing at the glass. She focuses on the condensation dripping on the vinyl bench.

Billy, on the other hand, doesn’t let it slide so easily.

“Ma’am, we are _homosexuals_.” Billy drawls, snatching the strawberry milkshake from Robin’s grip—the straw falling out of her mouth and leaving a small droplet of pink on her chin.

Robin growls with a full mouth, turning with wide eyes to Billy.

Billy uses _both_ straws to sip at the drink.

“Billy!” Robin hisses, “you can’t just say that.”

“Sure I can,” Billy says after a second, “it’s 2020, if she says something, that’s anti-discrimination, and also a lawsuit.” He takes another sip of the drink, with both straws again.

Robin turns to Joan the waitress, but can’t get any words out before Billy.

“And I don’t know about you Rob, but I could really use the money from suing Wendy’s over some old lady calling us _fags_ or something.” He stops and turns to Joan the waitress, giving his well-practised smile, “Joanie, ma’am, we’re gay.”

Joan’s expression hasn’t changed from her pinched brows and slightly open, poorly overdrawn lips.

She flattens her apron with her palms and clears her throat.

“Oh, oh no, no. I—no. My friend, Annie, her grandson is,” she looks around and lowers her voice slightly, “a _queer_ , I think it’s uh very brave.”

Billy’s usual grin turns into the shark-like smile that crinkles at his eyes.

“Hoy boy, did ya hear that, Buckley? Annie’s grandson is a queer!” He practically shouts.

People are starting to stare.

Joan hums and smiles sweetly at the onlookers. “Yes, well, please do let me know if you need anything else.”

Billy scrunches up his nose, “Sure will, Joanie!”

As she walks away, Robin slaps Billy on the arm, grabbing the milkshake and prying it from his hand.

“You asshole!” She snaps, “You’ve scarred her for life.”

He winks and reaches for the shake again, fighting off Robin’s free hand slapping him away.

“Stop being a hog, Buckley.”


End file.
